Ask Fuego Heat


Life is full of questions. Questions like, “Should I get the broad bean or sugar bean bunny?”, “Which is the best whiskey for under R100?” and “When does buying her shots go from being friendly to date rapey?”

Luckily for you, we’ve got a professional question answerer in the form of the always sensual, DJ Fuego Heat. Fire away any question you’d like in the comment section below and he’ll select those he feels are most worth answering for our latest monthly feature which’ll be starting next Wednesday.

Got any burning questions for DJ Fuego Heat? Ask them in the comment section below.

Photo by Lee Garrett


11 Responses to “Ask Fuego Heat”
  1. Ronny says:

    Why do people take articles on this blog so seriously?

  2. Kenny says:

    Dear DJ Fuego Heat,

    I’m pretty sure the girl next door has been checking me out.

    What should I do?



  3. MacT says:

    Dear Fuego

    How do I get my VLC media player to 100% volume? No matter how I click the volume bar the best I can ever get is 97. Its pretty close I agree, but sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on the full audio majesty of my french dubbed Samurai Jack directors cut.

    Please help

  4. Ozzie says:

    Are you that guy from Straatligkinders?

  5. Perche says:

    Dear Senhor Heat

    Why do women like to pose for the fotos with fake mustachez? Why WHy Why?

  6. rhg says:

    Dear Fuego Heat

    How does one keep their composure when they are as good looking as yourself? I really struggle with not running around and shouting “hey everyone, come and see how good I look!” Mirrors are becoming my greatest obstacle and I’m drowning in bitches.


    Ridiculously Handsome Guy

  7. steve says:

    When will Durban is yours start showcasing anything of real value???

  8. Gigantic Faggot says:


    you mean like cars and shit?

  9. The Economy says:

    Hi there DJ Feugo Heat,

    Do you remember when being a graphic designer was the trendy thing to study after high school, back in the mid to late 2000’s? Then it morphed into ‘Brand Communications’ around 2010 and everyone I knew was harping on about how much work they had to to do for Brand Challenges in between coke binges?
    In between all of that, in order to stave off having to succumb to the reality of adulthood and find real jobs, absconding to Asia in order to teach kids the English language replaced ‘going to the UK for a few years to make a shit load of Pounds’.

    So my question is, what do you think will be the next career trend to saturate the job market?

    My money’s on independent smartphone app development, replacing ‘trawling on the internet all day’ and passing it off under the title of ‘Social Media Manager’.

    But what funny answers do you have?


    The Economy

  10. LC says:

    Dear Fuego Heat

    My Girlfriend cheated on me with the dude she originally broke up with me for, who used to be my best friend and band member… they are together now, play in a band now and i am homeless and jobless and depressed.

    suicide or move to mozambique?

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