That’s Just Like, Your Opinion: You&Me

Tuesday night saw Durban’s youthful types converging on the KZNSA for an exhibition opening. No longer were we confined to the smaller independent galleries, but one of our own had made it to the walls of one of the country’s finer establishments. Skullboy’s exhibition, titled You&Me, is about how people lost their virginity’s so we decided to chat to a couple people at the exhibit about their first times.

As a fair chunk of us know, the first time you have sex is something that is built up to the point that it almost always disappoints. But that’s chilled, like with anything, experience and understanding make it a much more enjoyable experience. We decided to ask people when they lost their virginity’s and if it was any good, or if they would they change it. We got a mixed bag and it was surprising to see how open people were, knowing that this information would go online. I’m going to chalk it up to Skullboy’s exhibit doing what he intended it to do, to get people to talk openly about sex. Anyway, here’s what they had to say…

 

Simon 23

How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Simon: I was probably 18, swiped my V-card late.

Do you regret it or who it was with?
Simon: No

If you could change who it was with, would you?
Simon: No ways

But if you could pick a new girl to lose your virginity to, who would it be?
Simon: I dunno man, it’s not something I’ve thought about. I want to be obvious and say some pornstar but that’s just cheesey. Can I make someone up?

If you want to…
Simon: Maybe anything a Durban girl isn’t, I’m not saying Durban girls are bad, I’d just want something different. She’d probably be classy, possibly French, but that’s just me.

I hope you haven’t just cock-blocked yourself.
Simon: Me too…

 

DJ Fuego Heat 26 and Dirk 27

How old were you guys when you lost your virginity’s?
Fuego: I was 18
Dirk: 21

To each other?
Fuego: In my dreams

Would you change the first time you had sex if you could?
Fuego: I would definitely. It was in my girlfriend’s parents’ lounge with the South Park movie playing in the background. I lasted about two seconds and then she cried. And I left.
Dirk: I would have done it sooner, I think I built it up too much…
Fuego: And she was fat and ugly, lets be honest, she was so fat dude.

Would you change the first person you had sex with?
Fuego: Um, probably. Probably someone not so psycho. Fucking crazy bitch

She’s probably gonna see this…
Fuego: That’s okay, she was crazy
Dirk: She was…

Who would you change that person to?
Fuego: Not Dirk’s mom. Because she’s fat and ugly as well. Maybe Dirk’s sister though, she’s well fit dude. Other than her, Scarlette Johansen, hands down.
Dirk: I dunno, just anyone not connected…
Fuego: Just anyone that’s not *****
Dirk: Don’t say her name dude…
Fuego: Okay, then anyone that’s not fat and ugly.

 

Jared 24

When did you lose your virginity?
Jared: *clears throat* I haven’t lost it yet

Why not?
Jared: Just haven’t found the right girl

How do you think it’ll be?
Jared: I think it will be splendid

Is that the best you can come up with?
Jared: It’ll be orgasmic (sarcastic bastard.)

Who would you want your first time to be with?
Jared: I dunno man, I’m still hoping to meet her.

 

Caroline 24 and Justine “I can’t say, I’m too old.”

How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Justine: Nope… Nope! I’m out!
Caroline: It was the week before my 16th birthday. Almost legal…

Do you regret it?
Caroline: No, it was fine, he was my High School sweetheart, we’d been dating for like three years, it was after Tilt and it was necessary.

What would change about it?
Caroline: I wish it was more exciting, like I wish it had been in a church or in my mom’s bedroom.

If you could pick anyone else to have lost it to, who would you pick?
Caroline: Anyone in the universe?
Sure…
Caroline: Probably Marquis De Sade. He seems like he knew what he was doing.

 

Lisa 24 and Miles 23

How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Lisa: A week before my 18th, I was trying to hold out but I didn’t.
Miles: 16

How was it? Did you enjoy it?
Lisa: Mine was shit as fuck.
Miles: I was drunk but I enjoyed the fuck out of it.

What would you change about it?
Miles: It’s actually in here

Which one is it?
Miles: The Pavilion disabled bathroom. I wouldn’t change a single shit about that thing (sic.) Except for maybe the people knocking on the door.

And you, Lisa?
Lisa: Well we were really fucked after a dam party in a small town. He couldn’t even get hard but I was just so drunk, I didn’t know any better. So yeah, it didn’t go down very well. It sucked.

And what would you change about it?
Lisa: Everything, I wish it didn’t happen.

And if you could pick someone else to be your first time, who would it be?
Miles: A fucking pornstar of note
Lisa: James Franco, is that a legitimate answer?

 

Louis AKA Skullboooooiiiii 25

How old were you when you first lost your virginity?
Skullboy: 23

How was it? Anything about it you regret?
Skullboy: Uh, I didn’t tell the girl. It was an older woman in Vegas and we went back to her spot. Didn’t tell her it was my first time and then when I left she said “Thanks for the awkward sex.” So that kinda sticks with you.

Is there anything about it you’d change?
Skullboy: I probably wouldn’t be so enthusiastic

And if you could change who you first had sex with, who would it be to?
Skullboy: Definitely Natalie Portman.

 

In the spirit of the exhibition, how was your first time? Is there anything you’d change? Let us know, we’re all adultish here.

Comments
17 Responses to “That’s Just Like, Your Opinion: You&Me”
  1. luke says:

    fuck this shit. we need to turn this into a campaign to get jared laid.

  2. Josh says:

    Maybe Jared just prefers dudes?

  3. pissingblood says:

    Awesome exhibition. Job well done, Louis… And I think Jared is big enough to decide when he wants to put his cock to good use…

  4. Russell says:

    They’re gonna lining up now that he’s been featured on DIY.

  5. Matt S says:

    YOU LEAVE JARED ALONE!!

  6. Azzerotica says:

    This offends me. People having sex. Gross!

  7. Van says:

    Well done Loy-boy. Looks like it was a successful show 🙂

  8. Fuckin' Ozzie OG says:

    Some ballsy answers.Respect!

  9. Jo says:

    Jared just became my new hero!

  10. typical male says:

    It’s really funny laughing about fat people isn’t?
    How would you feel if a woman spoke about you like that?

  11. Jolling! says:

    That Caroline chick is trying way too hard.

  12. DJ Fuego Heat says:

    @typical male. Girls do/have on a fairly regular basis. Let’s just have a cry wank and get over it.

  13. Skullboooooi says:

    The truth is that in the responses I collected for the show, on average the girls were WAAAAY harsher than the guys about their partners. Cry wanks all round!

  14. luke says:

    fat people are fucking hilarious.

  15. Graham says:

    She probably said “Thanks for the awesome sex” and you just misheard her bro

  16. ugh says:

    i missed the opening. when is this running until?

  17. YellowElevator says:

    @ugh

    That must have been embarrassing. What’d she say?

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