Cat Van Dyk

Friday night saw Bob Purrfect in unfamiliar territory, watching a Kitten with a couple thousand felines at Kitty Heaven. Not just any Kitten, apparently one of the world’s best, Cat Van Dyk. Bob tries to open his mind to something different after the jump.

 

 

It’s no secret that I’m not the biggest fan of Kittens. Of course they have their place and their uses. Many nights out would be average without someone skilled selecting the soundtrack; but as a live act? I just don’t get it. There are the exceptions of course: Sibot at Origin was mind blowing and even Durban’s own Veranda Panda produces an entertaining live set. So, when we got asked to cover Cat Van Dyk, apparently one of the best Kittens in the world for roughly the last 20 years or so, I was willing to put my prejudices aside and see what he had to offer.

Tiger Balm came out and it was apparent that the only reason why they were having a good time was because of the chemical assistance .

Walking through the gates at Kitty Heaven, Russ and I encountered an unfortunate soul trying to bribe the door molly so he could get a pass out and go to the bank. Oh Kitty Heaven, will you never learn? If people can’t draw money in the “concert arena”, they can’t spend it either. Either change the no pass out rule, or get an ATM in there. It’s been an issue at every event, so sort it out. The disappointment didn’t end there though. Our “media passes” turned out to be Litter Box tickets, which is fine if you want photos of the acts to look like they’re playing a concert for fleas. And don’t come with the, “Well at least you got in for free” story, we were missing Scub Pub Friday for this.

 

A trip to the bar and a scouting of the clowder revealed what the night would be like: Middle aged British Shorthair’s who’ve probably been following Cat’s career since it started, monster cap wearing, tribal tattooed 20-somethings, and Asian Shorthair’s adorned with sunnies at night and their obligatory glow sticks. We’re not at Origin anymore. I even overheard someone saying they were buying drinks for someone named Sade (pronounced Shar-day). Putting my prejudices aside was going to be harder than I thought. At least we could take our R18 cans of beer anywhere, a welcome change to past Kitty Heaven events.

 

 

We decided to take full advantage of our Litter Box passes and headed to the demarcated area, a slightly raised platform to the side of the stage. Giving us a slightly better view of whichever kitten was behind the laptop at the time and we were suitably protected by a barricade from the plebs. Sure they had a better view, but a flat on South Beach has a better view than a town house in Umhlanga, you still wouldn’t catch these cats anywhere near Point Road.

 

Half an hour into our night, people start chanting Cat Van Dyk’s name. At 8pm. I said to Russell “If he had to come out now, he’d have to play for four hours.” Russell retorted with “Well, it’s not like he’d get tired.” Valid point. 5 minutes later, the feline of the hour is on stage. Fuck us, right?

 

 

 

As soon as Cat Van Dyk got on stage, the cellphone cameras came out. Considering we couldn’t get any decent pictures of the cat, I puzzled about the point of taking a cellphone picture of an act that is more stage than presence, but it seemed I was the only one as the flashes went off. At least they’ll have their 2mp memories of the night.

 

 

Cat kicked into a late 90’s early 2000’s house meets trance set with a bit more bass than I think he’d have liked and I immediately wished I’d taken some Catnip. I asked the guy chewing his lip off in front of me if he has a contact at the show but he just looks at me like he’s never heard of the stuff. Either he didn’t know the key ingredient to C or he was just really nervous, either way, I didn’t push the issue as a Molly with glittered breasts asked me for a light. Must have been Sade. I tried to leave my drink unattended for as long as possible, but it seemed that those in possession of da nip were saving them for themselves, or for those that at least seemed like they didn’t want them.

 

Russ and I spent the first twenty minutes of the set amongst the wrinkled women and balding Toms re-living their 666 days. Russell tried to get ahead of the barricade to get a good shot of the feline we’d given up our Friday night for, but the security realised the same thing that we did: a Litter Box pass is not the same thing as a media pass. We decided to head to the bar which even in the Litter Box area was outside of the concert tent, which was where we spent the rest of our time at the “show.”

 

 

 

I tried my very best to get it. I like to think of Kittens as modern day composers; mixers of many instruments and sounds into a cohesive show that expresses their feelings and that uses sound to evoke emotion in people, but with Cat Van Dyk, it just went over my head. I wish I could say differently considering my newly found open-mindedness, but it really was the same thing over and over again. I eventually asked Russell, a musician, why what we were experiencing was good. All he could say was “It’s loud.” Fair enough, it was.

 

Eventually, we found a group of toms who seemed to be having an extraordinary time. Soon after we met them though, the Tiger Balm came out and it was apparent that the only reason why they were having a good time was because of the chemical assistance. My will to ask them why they were there was shattered. We should have gotten regular passes; those cats, with their fist pumps and glow sticks genuinely seemed to be enjoying themselves.

After a couple entertaining snaps of the festivities and a longing for some music made in the last five years (even some dubstep) Russ and I decided to call it a night, at 9:30. Poor journalism on our behalf, and a failed experiment in something new, but not a decision I regret. I’m not sure if Cat did earn his paycheck by playing for four hours or if a local Kitten took the reigns and gave the clowder what I was longing for, but I didn’t care, I’d both seen and heard enough to know that no matter how much I opened my mind, I wasn’t going to experience the greatness that I’d expected.

All images courtesy of http://www.christianholmer.com/

Comments
121 Responses to “Cat Van Dyk”
  1. Rob Reiner says:

    TL;DR

  2. matt_theknight says:

    Trademark DIY Ailurophilia

  3. Ozzie says:

    LEGEND! Bob, if I wasn’t married …

  4. Matt says:

    Legend.

  5. Will says:

    Opinions are like assholes. Everyone’s got one and they smell.
    If you dont like this one then go sniff someone else’s crack.
    Nice one bob! Such an entertaining read

  6. Paul 'F'ing F says:

    How fuckin dare you?
    That is the best cat in the world based on my opinion which only really matters to me.
    You’re clearly a dogster.
    What a dick.
    I’m going to bludgeon you with a scratching post next time I see you.

  7. Dusty Rich says:

    You fucking people are threatening to kill people over an internet blog, this is worse than religion, you’re insane, you humans are all insane.

    I will remember this for the rest of my life, this much hatred on all sides because of an opinion blog.
    You are the very same people that would kill (slaughter, smash, bludgeon) another person because of their belief system.

    You are the worst type of beings, regardless of whether this was good/bad journalism, wrong/right, if you hate trance or if you love it, YOU HAVE THREATENED TO KILL PEOPLE OVER IT.

    If you’re in a dark alley and a someone threatens your life because you believe in something he doesn’t, you have to fight to the death but this is THE FUCKING INTERNET. There are opinions everywhere! You absolute psycho’s!

    I got to say though, congratulations on the controversy, a job well done. I have no opinions on the journo, the piece or the music but i am very impressed about the attention it has garnered, your blog is officially a very big player. These idiots against the blog have turned it into what they feared, a valid widely publicized and well read OPINION blog.

  8. sarona says:

    haha…well written. word.

  9. Makrchodh says:

    Give “Dusty Rich” a bells.
    Spread the word: http://www.evilbible.com/

  10. dogster says:

    This article is RUFF RUFF RUFF!
    Why, if you threw a ball, I would chase the shit out of it!!

    Or a stick. I fucking love sticks.

    But this is an extremely grey matter, as far as I can see..

    WOOFing before it was cool.

  11. pissingblood says:

    Cats really are the solution to any problem on the internet. Well done lads. Well played. Was a fun few days watching this spiral our of control.

  12. Turck says:

    I love DIY so fucking much

  13. xdoomx says:

    GO VEGAN!!!

  14. Yeow! says:

    8==========D

  15. Frannie vanDee says:

    that night wouldve turned out so much different if you had gotten cat nip from the first guy you asked.

  16. A says:

    This cat version is amazing! Thanks Bob.

  17. UnlorEnrosy says:

    Good bye, considerate soul mate :)

  18. Autheceentecy says:

    Honourable bye, sentimental chum :)

Leave A Comment