Top 10 of 2012: Bob Perfect

Bob here. I’m not going to pretend like I don’t write all of these and then have to refer to myself in the third person, again. That’d be egotistical. Instead I’ll just introduce you to my Top 10. Ladies and gents, I give you my top 10 photos of me in 2012. Enjoy.

 

10. DA TEAM by Russell Grant 

In February, I got interviewed about DIY by aweh.tv and we needed a photo of the team. I remember getting us together was a bitch. It always is. I think we’ve had about 6 meetings total in the last year, but the stars finally aligned and we met up in my studio/office/spare room/crack den to get the shot above. Looking back at the interview, I don’t think we hit all our goals this year, mostly because we forgot what they were and just spent the year winging it and running this blog by the seat of our pants. Goals and plans are for sportsmen and architects, we’re creatives damnit. Oh, and if anyone has seen that shirt of mine, I’d dig to have it back.

 

 

9.  Upsidedown Zap by Grant Payne

I have no recollection of this photo being taken but I know it was at Origin for GMTronica and that there are a series of them with a bird being flipped in each one. As Skullboy put it, our lives have become a Limp Bizkit video. I love Russell’s creep face in this photo, that poor woman looks like Little Red Riding Hood and he’s the Big Bad Wolf about to chow down. I also love that Luke hates the upsidedown zap so now I do them at every opportunity.

 

 

8.  Top DJs at Origin by Russell Grant

Okay, maybe not at every opportunity. This was taken at Origin when Luke and I made it to the DJing big leagues and track selected at Raveageddon. I got to play Every Time I Die at Origin, Luke got to play Will Smith. It was a strange night. Still, we had a ton of fun and we DJed so awesomely that the power cut when our dancefloor got to critical mass. True story. Shot to everyone that bought us beers and to that dude who shared love in a pill form with me, that was very nice of you, I landed up staying up until 10am watching Doug Stanhope, smoking an entire box of cigarettes in a row and chatted to friends in Korea. Good times.

 

 

7. Portrait by Justin McGee 

Justin McGee was in Durbs briefly this year, and whilst he was, he managed to get the drunks and punks together for a rather classy photo shoot which you can see here. I don’t really dig my smile and shit, but I like that you can see my sex injuries in this photo. I’m very very good at sex and women can’t help but sink their teeth and nails into my flesh. This was the day after a wild as fuck house party at Anna Savage‘s house for Allister Christie’s birthday where I crowd surfed from kitchen counters, played chicken with knives, did very yellow coke and got caught banging by the birthday boy in his bedroom. Oh, and this shoot produced one of the most memorable quotes of the year “Heroin is okay, but Meth, I can see why people get addicted to Meth.”

 

 

6.  Swan Dive by Russell Grant

Some stage dives you never stop paying for. Every time I see this photo, I feel the thud of the cold Live floor. This was from the Cowabunga Bitches show with Wrestlerish, City Bowl, Beach Party and The Dollfins. Some dumb bitches were dancing on stage during City Bowl’s set and Marty gestured to me to come up and push them off, I thought he was gesturing for me to come up and show them how it’s done. I got up, put in a burst of speed and fully commited to launching myself into the crowd, which showed considerably less commitment to catching me and decided they’d let the floor open it’s arms to me instead.

 

 

5. I Believe I Can Fly by Luca Barausse 

Another Mizers show, another stage dive, but this time it was at The Winston’s re-opening party, so people actually caught me. A packed Winston is a great place for stage diving because people have nowhere to go and are forced to catch you. There are also beams and fixtures you can hang from and it’s a much shorter fall to the ground if you do bail. The Winston gets a 4/5 for stage diving potential.

 

 

4. Smash and Dash by Russell Grant 

I’m an only child to a single mom who worked two jobs when I was growing up and I was hated at school, so I’ve spent my late teens and early 20s getting the attention I craved by wearing very little clothing and making a nuisance of myself at social events. It works. Also, it takes minimal effort so it has a high ROI when it comes to costume parties. Smash and Dash this year got so damn wild with a fuck ton of Yakka being consumed and more sex per square meter than last year’s event. It also marked my retirement from professional varsity partying. I’m not going to pull a Sachin, instead I retired at the top of my game and will spend future varsity parties allowing the youngsters to come up and grab the brass ring.

 

 

3. The Champ Is Here by Grant Payne 

You’ll hopefully see the results of this shoot this week so I won’t give too much away but suffice to say, shit got weird. I was dealing with a comedown after two hours sleep, Fuego chundered in the street, there was a snake and Stathi hated me for leaving early to go home and sleep. I didn’t care because he ate a chicken and mayo sandwhich for lunch instead of a bunny like the rest of us.

 

 

2. Get Wild Coast, Stay Wild Coast by Russell Grant 

In 2012, we lost a good man to a better woman when Jimmy got married. As is customary, we had a bachelor party which saw a motley crew of us getting dapper and hitting the Wild Coast Sun after drinking all. day. long. Everyone lost money, nobody found drugs, there were no strippers and the B-Team went full B-Team with one member deciding to walk home and the other paying R500 for a 5km taxi ride. But at least the carpets were immaculate, the fountain refreshing and the bins/floor were perfect for Russell to piss in/on.

 

 

1. Untitled by Unknown

On the first night of Splashy, I charged too hard and my phone and I got seperated either in the pit or when my pants found themselves outside the tent when things were getting steamy. The following week, I logged in to Facebook and was surprised to see I’d gotten younger, blacker and more feminine in my profile picture. I miss the phone and all the music and saucy photos on it, but the laughs that this produced was worth the loss and I’m glad my misfortune could provide my Facebook friends, and their friends, and their friends friends with such mirth.

 

So that’s my Top 10 photos of me for 2012. If you dig them, check out the rest of the photographers’ work.

Russell Grant

Grant Payne

Justin McGee

Luca Barausse

Comments
11 Responses to “Top 10 of 2012: Bob Perfect”
  1. Daisy says:

    Awesome Bob

  2. Matty S says:

    This made my xmas eve.

  3. Alexander says:

    “Untitled by Unknown” – just brilliant…

  4. james says:

    you really are a shameless little wanker as proven by your recent “vote for us in the blog awards. the pithy blog awards that we hate. but please vote for us. but we really don’t care about them. but please vote for us anyway” comments on facebook

  5. xdoomx says:

    I had forgotten about nr1. Beautiful internet moment

  6. luke says:

    *my dance floor got to critical mass.

  7. luke says:

    james is a fucking cry baby.

  8. james says:

    fuck you and your cute blog lukebob

  9. is it important? says:

    come on guys… yeah, this is a cool blog and you guys are doing awesome things for durban, but this is just sad. sometimes i honestly wonder if you, luke and russel ever see the irony and embarresment in almost everything you put up here… do you do it on purpose? or are your lives really that sad?

  10. Bob says:

    Our lives are really this sad.

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