Rocking The Coast

One day, when Matt Knight writes another review, there will be a review free from genital references on this site. But until then, here’s Bob Perfect’s review of Rocking The Coast with E.X.P.L.O.S.I.O.N, Lowprofile and Manuvah To Land.

Ah, Toti. My impression of the place is that if Umhlanga and Pinetown had a kid and left that kid to grow up on the street, sniffing glue and selling their body, but then that child got adopted by a loving family and grew up to be a somewhat functioning member of society, that’d be Toti. It’s that town that we all know is a little fucked up, but most people don’t get to know it well enough to understand why.

With a quartet of balls, they’ll make a great soundtrack to some freaky partying.

Last Friday, I got to know that kid a little better, with the excuse of watching a couple of bands. I honestly don’t know much about Toti. I know Dusty Rich comes from there, and I know some of the hardest party animals, but nicest dudes, are from there and it was because of the insistence of some of those dudes that I made the trip down the coast with Woogy’s dad playing driver, because we’re still in high school, clearly. We got to the venue, Toti Lifesaving Club, early for soundcheck and to get a lay of the land. I immediately felt at home. A lifesaving club is like a sports club, but near the beach, and boy have I had some good times at gigs at sports clubs. Since most of the people needed to make the soundcheck happen weren’t there when we were, we bailed to hit a house party “Just up the road.” Apparently the Joburgers that holiday in Toti have left behind their sense of distance because “just up the road” in my mind is Winston to Amsterdam, not Queensmead to Musgrave (can you tell I live in Glenwood?). The party was the perfect warm up though. I didn’t really know many people there so substituted talking for drinking and by the time we got back to the Lifesaving Club, I was as toasty as the E.X.P.L.O.S.I.O.N guys usually are, and they just happened to be on stage.

 


E.X.P.L.O.S.I.O.N play an evolution of hair metal that’s grown an extra testicle. I fucking hate, HATE, almost any music from the 80s that isn’t punk, but they managed to pull off a throwback to an era that spawned Bon Jovi that had me leaving a note on my phone which said: “Perfect for date raping 16 year old girls.” Take that as you will. They definitely had the ladies swooning and the dudes jamming along which means they’ll keep it up for a while and it’ll be interesting to see if they can grow another testicle as time goes on, cause with a quartet of balls, they’ll make a great soundtrack to some freaky partying.

 


“Touring” band for the night, Lowprofile were up next. I’ve watched Lowprofile for years, and there are few better ways to watch them than on a shitty stage in a small venue with a packed crowd. The only problem was that this time, it seemed that the crowd were still stuck in the 80s and hadn’t discovered 90s melodic punk yet. It wasn’t that there was nobody watching or dancing or anything, it just wasn’t with the fervour I was expecting. The vocals weren’t as loud as they could have been, which was a small issue, but it seemed the locals were too busy trying to hook-up outside after getting down to E.X.P.L.O.S.I.O.N to give a damn about the punks on stage. Lowprofile still thrashed it out and I’d be telling bold faced lies if I tried to comment on the tightness of the show cause I really wasn’t paying that much attention. It really didn’t matter. I, and many of the Durban crew that made the trip down the coast, were happy to relish in the chance to catch our beloved stalwarts in a venue that was reminiscent of “the good old days”, and eventually the kids that got shot down outside joined in and good old fashioned fun was had by all. Good old fashioned fun is stage diving and spilling booze on everyone, right?

 


Up last were Manuvah To Land who were the closest thing to a Sublime cover band that I’ve ever heard, even when they weren’t playing actual Sublime songs, and especially when they were. And although the crowd were lovin’ (it’s what they got) it, I wasn’t keen to see out the rest of a set that up until that point had sounded like one song, so I headed out to join the drunkards on the balcony which provided me with way more entertainment. There was chundering, there were tears, there was what looked like minor sexual assault but was most likely just teenage enthusiasm. There were ditzy girls, predatory boys/men, bad jokes, better put downs, more kids mauling each other and the motorboating of a set of testicles. It was beautiful really.

 

The night carried on for a bit after that and myself and a new makeshift party crew were subjected to more Toti hospitality. I found myself with a different car of people for the third time of the night as we were invited “just up the road” once more to another house to keep the party going for a while longer. For the sake of this paragraph I wish something more memorable happened, but we just did the things you do when a night winds down and you want to stall it for as long as possible. Turns out Toti is just a misunderstood kid that ain’t so bad, just needs a little attention and if more bands make the short trip down the coast, they’ll be rewarded with an enthusiastic crowd looking for a good time, you know, once they stop trying to fuck each other.

P.S. Toti is too amazing!

 

*All images © Gareth Bargate

Comments
58 Responses to “Rocking The Coast”
  1. Orson Welles says:

    TOTI IS TOO AMAZING!!!!!!

  2. keags says:

    Toti is too amazing!

  3. luke says:

    no fights? bummer.

  4. Ozzie says:

    “there are few better ways to watch them than on a shitty stage in a small venue with a packed crowd”

    Ha ha, usually we can oblige you in terms of the first two of those three requirements.

    Oh ja, and Bob – you have been officially nominated as the remote ears of the band. If the vocals are quiet, seek out one Steven Jones of Mizer fame and say, “Steve, the vocals need to go up or get the guys to turn the amps down onstage”

    This position doesn’t pay well, but then again neither does playing Lowprofile!

  5. Bob says:

    Looking back, I was right in the front and the speakers were on the sides so it probably sounded fine, I wasn’t exactly focused on much other than having a good time.

  6. Ozzie says:

    Liar! I saw you standing upside down on the roof, there’s even a footprint at Toti Lifesaving Club to prove it

  7. Gary Marais says:

    TOTI IS TOO AMAZING!

  8. Azzerotica says:

    Toti is [the] shit.

  9. lalalalala says:

    Well I think this guy must get his fact strait. He dsnt know music. If u wanne make a comment about a band atleast know what Sublime music is. And to be honest we as a crowed loved it. Ps one assholes opinion means jack shit!!!

  10. C*nt says:

    * facts
    * straight
    * doesn’t
    * wanna
    * at least
    * crowd

  11. Bob says:

    “And to be honest we as a crowed loved it”

    Uh, yeah, that’s what I said. ” And although the crowd were lovin’ (it’s what they got) it.” And you may be intuitive enough to pick up the reference to the Sublime cover that they actually played at the show. Maybe not though.

    “Ps one assholes opinion means jack shit!!!”

    Couldn’t agree more.

  12. lalalalala says:

    I did not know assholes with opinions existed. Thanks for letting me know!!!!. Ps wake the hell up and smell the roses man!!

  13. Just Me says:

    Well if being compared to Sublime is a sh1tty thing then let sh1tty things happen all the time! They were an awesome band cut down in their prime, I’d rather be compared to Sublime than Bon Jovi or some crappy 80’s band! As for this so called “music critic” seems all he was there for was to try and find some punk, maybe he should have gone elsewhere if he wasn’t going to actually listen to the bands on the bill but instead piss about outside! If he knew Toti he would know “One assholes opinion means jack shit” and that asshole gets a pose clap from Bundy!!

  14. Bob says:

    So your way to deal with people with opposing opinions is to hit them?

  15. Just Me says:

    No, not people….just assholes!

  16. luke says:

    sublime was an utterly horrific band. inane music for boring people.

  17. RichSchaffer says:

    One day I’ll read a review on DIY and the comments will be heart warming and nice…I dream!

  18. Just me says:

    Oh how easy it is to dismiss someone else’s work as inane music! Let’s see your achievement, if you have any! Bet you haven’t even written a song never mind recorded an album or sold any of your own work? So if you have anything worth while why not upload it, let us see how inane you are!

  19. luke says:

    yeah here’s my work. it’s called ‘ode 2 just me’: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS7nqwGt4-I

  20. Just me says:

    Just as I thought a twat with no skill or talent! Easy to criticise when you are just a looser with nothing to give back!

  21. TheLappies says:

    Here we go again, another pathetically pisspoor review by someone who knows as much about music as a fag knows about pussy… I relish the day when a decent article is written on this site cos as far as I can see there still has not been one to date, sorry Im wrong there, I think I just read one, NOT!!!

    I have had the MTL cd playing in my car for a month now and I reckon they are one of the best bands to ever come out of Durban, but then again what the hell do I know, Ive only been in the industry, working with bands and playing music for 16 years.

    And for someone to diss sublime as inane music, GET A FUCKING LIFE LUKE YOU PRICK!!!

  22. Jolling! says:

    Homophobia and a not joke in one post? What year is it? I swear I just time traveled.

    Andrew, clearly your 16 years didn’t teach you that the word “fag” isn’t very nice. Well done on once again showing your true colours.

  23. Donald Fuck says:

    Did the owner of Live really just post that horrific paragraph or am I delusional as he is?

    Christ dude, watch your mouth.

    You sound like an angry teenager, you really need lessons in how what you say online affects your brand.

    Fuck you are an asshole.

  24. luke says:

    as if i give a single flying fuck about the opinion of someone who uses the word ‘fag’.

  25. Fag that knows about pussy says:

    Hey Lappies, I hope a “fag” fucks your mom you homophobic asshole.

  26. Fuck You says:

    Is Andrew Loubser slightly retarded?

    Did he not think people will read what he just said?

    Homophobia is not cool dude.

    Maybe you should focus all your energy in getting a license for Live so that you don’t keep taking our money every weekend when you get shut down by the cops.

    Sort your shit out, you fuckin cunt.

  27. Proud Fag says:

    So The Lappies is the owner of Live?
    Last time I go there. So tired of dealing with this kind of shit and being considered a second class citizen just because I like men. And anybody that uses the word ‘fag’ definitely thinks of gay people as second class citizens.

  28. Fuck You, Fuck You says:

    @Fuck You

    Homophobia isn’t cool, but neither is Ableism, so sort your own shit out too.

  29. awwww_yissss says:

    you don’t have to be gay to be a fag. However, this guy referenced pussy and made a straight up homophobic statement and that makes mr lappies a fag.
    Amirite?

  30. Greg says:

    I think people are over reacting here.
    He didn’t say anyone was a fag or that being gay is wrong, he just made an analogy.
    come on guys, stop looking to take offence to everything all the time.

  31. Jan says:

    While I’m not going to boycott live for something Andrew said on the internet (lets be honest, if I did, I would have stopped going months ago), I am appalled that an owner of Durban’s biggest venue would say something so crass, bigoted and neglectful of a large part of his audience.

    Andrew, this is the 21st century but you’re still living in the 90’s boet.

  32. TheLappies says:

    Firstly I am not the owner of Live so get your facts straight… Secondly I have lots of gay mates and none of them take offense to that comment, hell half of them call each other fags and go ask them what they know about stuff they dont care to know about and you will get your answer. I was making a comparison, like asking a builder to repair your car, or a painter to invest your money, jussis I give up.

    Quite frankly I dont actually care what a bunch of trolls have to say about anything on this weak excuse for a site anymore, thanks to Greg tho whom I dont know but can see straight thru the shit these fools are trying to stir up.

    Get a life and use your own names instead of swear words so you can be identified, I couldve hidden away and posted as ‘FUCKDIY” or “SHUTUPFOOLS” but I didnt cos I want you fools to know what I have to say, unlike you spineless rats who shout your mouths off about stuff you know nothing about and hide away sniggering…

    Catch a wake up and step outta your little online haven into the real world and get educated people… I say what I say for a reason unlike the troll squad that lives on this site…

  33. Erm says:

    Dude, you didn’t post with your real name. Everyone just knows it’s you because you always act like a fucking fool on here.

  34. luke says:

    ah the good ole ‘but my best friends are…’. nice one.

  35. Stathi says:

    Actually its a blog.

  36. Lappiesisacunt says:

    Refer to my name for my comment.

  37. KP from EXPLOSIONS gf says:

    OFF TOPIC: what I love about reviews is, there will always be someone who doesn’t agree with your opinion. This is Bobs opinion and in all essence if you want to write a review that says something different then go start your own blog instead of taking offence… your life must be really boring if you sit there getting yourself into an emotional knot for what Bob writes on here. Overall he got everyone talking and commenting and reading it. Mission Accomplished lol. Well done Bob.

  38. Daisy says:

    Ah, the entertainment continues… I love the way people get so angry for no reason….

  39. TheLappies says:

    @Luke I was jolling in the private bar at 330 in the early 90’s with plenty gay ous who are still my mates 20 years down the line, so homophobic I am not, sorry to burst your little bubble…

    @ erm, rather stay a coward and dont use your real name cos you have fuckall to say really… I choose to let people know who I am instead of cowering away behind my screen and shouting bullshit…

    @Durban Is Yours – Get some respect for the town you live in and call yours and then maybe people will actually care what gets written on your “blog”. I have never come across a blog that uses such disgusting language, doesnt know what the hell they are actually talking about and has no respect for people that are actually doing something for their city other than talking shit about everything they can…

    With that I bid farewell to this blog, dont bother trying to bait me with more pathetic comments as I wont bother coming here again as its an opinionated pit of pity and frankly just a waste of time… You know where to find me if you want to but I can bet my bottom buck that not one of you cowards will ever confront me face to face as you know this is all a crock of shit!

  40. Kweefer Sutherland says:

    Let us all know when its your 5th birthday & we will get you a nice cake.

  41. N says:

    “But some of my best friends are gay.”

    Classic defensive homophobe. Cute. If you were trying to say someone knows as much about music as a builder does about fixing cars, you should probably say just that, instead of resorting to slurs.

    Sixteen years in the industry doesn’t mean you have good taste, nor does it mean anyone will respect your opinion. In fact, sixteen years in the industry and you still care about what someone says about some band on a relatively small, local website? That’s incredibly sad – shouldn’t you be conducting yourself more like a professional by now?

  42. Erm says:

    You’ve never come across a blog that uses disgusting language, don’t know what they’re talking about and have no respect for anything? You’re new to the internet aren’t you?

  43. N says:

    WHY DO YOU KEEP ON SAYING PEOPLE ARE COWARDS FOR USING NICKNAMES ONLINE WHEN YOU DON’T EVEN USE YOUR OWN NAME, THELAPPIES?

    IS THE IRONY COMPLETELY LOST ON YOU? HOLY SHIT. ARE YOU THE WORLD’S BEST TROLL OR WHAT?!

  44. luke says:

    “have never come across a blog that uses such disgusting language”

    lol.

  45. Firstly, Bob is an asshole. He knows it, I know it, you know it and it is something he’s probably proud of so calling Bob an asshole is the same as giving him a blowjob.

    Secondly, since when do people get upset because a review? And why does a critic need to be able to play an instrument? A critic is a writer, not a musician. If there was a list of requirements to be a critic, it would read: 1. A love for music, and a knowledge thereof. 2. Skill as a writer. 3. Hard skin. Bob probably gets far more hate than he dishes out. This blog is his stage so please stop asking him to get on stage and sing because that isn’t where his talent lies and it’d probably be terrible.

    Lastly, trolls who hide behind fake names suck, but you probably should if you’re going to go around saying backwards shit like that.

  46. Falcor says:

    This blog has done more for your venue than you have “TheLappies”.

  47. Tam says:

    Where can I get a DurbanIsYours T-shirt? Hurry up with that. Kisses.

  48. luke says:

    bob would definitely prefer a blowjob over nasty name-calling.

  49. Steve Jones says:

    I just have to picture Lappies saying those words and I can see how he meant it. Shit gets fucked up on messages and misinterpreted and blown up. I just wana say. I love and respect all these muther fuckers like: Bob, Stathi, Luke, Lappies, DIY and LIVE. Big up dudes… hope we can jam to some Sublime and Bon Jovi at the Winston sometime soon…

  50. Ry says:

    LOUD NOISES..

  51. Bob says:

    I was gonna respond to all this but since Lappies is gone, I’ll chat to him in person.
    Can we all rather just talk about how awesome this gif is.

  52. Trevor says:

    You all sound like 10 year olds on youtube

  53. Waldrin says:

    Kerrrrrriissstt!

    TheLappies comments reads like a fucking Tampax commercial.

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