Isochronous DVD Launch

Russell Grant enjoys listening to boys with girly voices and being blasted with confetti cannons whilst getting castrated at the Isochronous Live In Germany DVD launch with Asleep in Transit and Habit To.

 

There I was, as tender as flogged beef, exposed and awkward, in the middle of Live’s bulimic gut. An odd mix of ho-down ditty and 10th grade school function was playing through the speakers. It was 9 and the hall was still just about empty. I watched, amused, as people clung to its perimeter, doing their utmost to dodge oppressive beams of million Rand light. Less amusing was a drunk guy standing on the top step of a steel staircase, covered in “I Heart Hooters” stickers, yelling random names into the sparsely populated region below. As hard as we present willed, he simply wouldn’t fall off.

 Dramatic fist raises and soaring vocals were loosed mercilessly on a crowd parched of real showmanship.

Where were all the people? I overheard some young matric types talking about the night surfing and how boring it was. Apparently everyone was waiting for Jordy Smith to do something amazing before the bands could start, but it never happened because the waves were shit, so the bands played anyway in what was a spectacular anti-climax. People began arriving, presumably when the weight of expectation and disappointment down at the beach became too much to bear.

 

The first band on was Asleep in Transit. If you’re ever in transit, and need to get some sleep, this is the band for you. The sound that night wasn’t doing them any favours, despite claims of its unparalleled, biblical awesomeness. It sounded weak, the instruments indistinct and thin. Tightness issues pervaded, too. Some miscued drums, and an attempt at a crowd clap-along which ended up a three-man round of applause from the stage, made things worse. Listing technical difficulties is often a way of excusing an otherwise good band for having a bad show. This is not the case with Asleep in Transit. I like to consider myself a man in touch with his feminine side. I cry for no reason in songs when the emotions overwhelm me. I like boy singers with girly voices. I put the seat down after having a slash. But AIT’s twee and clichéd cold pea soup left me desperate for a cleansing at the fountain of man. I needed dumbbells and scantily clad women with large and incongruous tits. I craved neat whiskey and going a couple rounds in the ring with Hemingway. Where was that guy with the Hooters stickers?

 

 

I shan’t harp on any further but to say this: I didn’t enjoy them, but if sentimentality is your thing, you might find them your cup of tea.
Next were Habit To. A three piece fronted by a woman. They had cajones, even if they were firmly ensnared in a nineties vice. This band wouldn’t stand out on typical DMX Hard Rock playlist. They did a cover of Metallica’s Enter Sandman and I was finally able to let my balls down a bit. The rest of their set was fairly predictable hard(ish) pop rock that was, nonetheless, well executed and entertaining.

 

 

Last up, and the band everyone was undoubtedly there to see, was Isochronous, fresh off a trip to Europe, and punting a new “Live in Germany” DVD. I can see why the Germans like these guys. They’re as precise and well-tuned as an Audi, a trait that would bore in lesser hands, but which they avoid by injecting just enough cheese to give them that classic Hasselhoff charm. Dramatic fist raises and soaring vocals were loosed mercilessly on a crowd parched of real showmanship. There were even confetti cannons (Note to self: people fucking love confetti cannons).
I enjoyed every second of their show. They have a fresh and odd take on songwriting, which is captivating if at times ill-suited to the stage. There were passages which I felt would be better appreciated in my room or in my car, but these were few and far between and well compensated for with grand and unbridled melodrama. I think their greatest achievement has to be how they make an otherwise stuffy style of music accessible to most. They’re even not shy to ape a little drum and bass and dubstep. A risky move, the success of which is evidence of their enormous talent.  And yes, they have a boy vocalist with a girly voice, and by the end of their set my balls were nowhere to be seen. But this time I didn’t miss them one bit.

*All images © Kevin Goss-Ross

Comments
19 Responses to “Isochronous DVD Launch”
  1. Steve says:

    Nice review, couldn’t have said it better myself.

  2. Steve says:

    PS: Kevin killed these photos. That confetti shot.

  3. xdoomx says:

    “oppressive beams of million Rand light”

    I didn’t need to read anymore. Best review ever

  4. keags says:

    Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

    “…but which they avoid by injecting just enough cheese to give them that classic Hasselhoff charm.” – Literally the best summary of Isochronous’ live show I have ever heard.

  5. luke says:

    i love russell’s balls.

  6. T says:

    You don’t put the seat down after having a slash every single time! But yes, most of the time! x

  7. T says:

    And P.S. Damn straight, that girly voice is pretty fucking sexy. Awesome write up. I’m not bias at all 😀

  8. N says:

    You really write well, Russell. Nice review, although I’m still undecided on Isochronous.

  9. NMC says:

    Tops

  10. Fuck yes Russell. Too kiff.

  11. Jonathan says:

    Great review, really enjoyed reading this. Nice one DIY 🙂

  12. Ry says:

    THE FOUNTAIN OF MAN!

  13. Krokodil says:

    yes. yes. yes.

  14. Daisy says:

    Awesome write up, love reading Russels reviews!

  15. DJ Fuego Heat says:

    Thank you for this Russel.

  16. Rachel B says:

    Fantastic, Russ! Right on point!

  17. Zweli says:

    Love your writing, that was such an entertaining read!

  18. Barbara says:

    fuck you

  19. Steve Mandy says:

    amazing photography

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