For December, we’ve asked quite a few local artists, musicians, writers and “personalities” to give us their top ten of the year. The brief was ridiculously vague and each person got to interpret it however they wished. First up is local artist, and recent TV sensation, Skullboy.

10) If you’re looking for some amping music where every song is like “Oh dude! What?!” then I’ve got the answer for you: Rocco and St(e)ak. They’re partners but not in the liberal way. They’re just partners… in ear-fucking! Between them, they’ve got the most stoke inducing collection of OG hip hop, punk, rock’n roll and metal vinyl that has been known to turn tea with your gran into a 4-day drunk-as-shit skate session. Step up or step aside, son!

Then, if you’re already mostly to very hammered and just wanna work your thang thang on the dance floor, enter DJ Fuego Heat. He’s every hipster’s wet dream: he’s vegan, wears 2nd hand suits, has evangelist parents living in Cambodia and only plays party music from the 80’s and 90’s ON VINYL! I think I can see Cape Town’s ‘O’ face from here.

9) The first time I saw Black Math, I thought my skin was about to peel off. That might have been the whole tab I just ate but either way, these rock’n roll Beibers are great. Other totally legitimate synonyms: radical, awesome, lovely.

8) Jesus Christ, Matt – stop buying the same goddamn colour toothbrush as me! I swear, I taste you every time I brush my teeth. I’m going to make out with your girlfriend to see if she can tell the difference (and the answer is an emphatic ‘Yes’ because I’m a better cuddler).

7) Seriously though, ‘Broadcasts’ was a brilliant show. Christian Mugnai? Wes van Eeden? Paul Senyol? How can it not be pure Gold!? Wes continued to show, what I think, is one of the few truly authentic and relevant African styles coming out today and Senyol broke my heart just one more time as he solidified his spot as one of my favorite artists ever ever… At least they only sold 2 pieces between the 3 of them. Why are our friends so damn poor and just so shit. I hate those guys.

6) Digital Protest? Really? “Oh, what? What do you mean my pithy facebook status and black cargo shorts didn’t change the world? It’s as if writing ‘love’ on my arm means nothing to you people. Well, at least that ‘Occupy City Hall’ thing was a success.”

5) There’s been a lot of goodbye’s this year. It’s as if we’ve just discovered Asia, the English language, and the lack of the English language in Asia. Coincidentally, a bunch of my friends are now living in places I only found out existed about 3 weeks ago. Damn your wanderlust.

4) Since the installation of Cake or Death, there seems to be a legitimate reason to start drinking by at least mid morning on Thursdays. The ‘quiet drink’ pact quickly disintegrates when Interpol starts playing, and then you’re like, ‘Awwww shiiiiiiit!’ as you reach for a fresh drink. This is followed by you Flavor Flav-ing your way into the morning meeting at work (late), still mildly drunk, with the very real possibility that you smell just as drunk.

Close second is sleeping through Mark Shuttleworth’s talk at the Design Indaba in Cape Town. Dude, Miley Cyrus could go to space if she wanted to, but like the rest of us, she’s content to look at outer space on her Macbook desktop background instead. C’mon.

3) So for the past few months I’ve been collecting stories of how people lost their virginities for a show I’ll be doing next year. It’s a commentary on the extreme perceptions of sex versus the realities of it in modern day life – it’s all very deep, you wouldn’t understand. So, I try collect these gems at Unit and other parties and have got a truly broad spectrum of crazy shit. You lot are truly disgusting but strangely adorable. There’s been plenty of great stories but my favorite one by far must be “With a guy that called me ‘Angel’. Gay!”. Bless you, child.

2) I’ve been in my fair share of discussions on politics, religion and art without ever coming remotely close to the fury I felt over an argument over a typeface. I’m really not joking. Even with AIDS babies and wife-beaters and pedophiles and kitten murderers, it was Helvetica that got me that angry. I thought I was going to rip this bitches throat out. How dare she speak ill of Helvetica?! I must have blacked out from rage for the next 36 hours. It’s cool though – I still love her dearly but now all the birthday cards I send her look like American Apparel ads. Oh, and while I’m still a little angry: how shit is the ‘new’ Willowvale!? I think I might have written, ‘I fucking hate this place’ on the bathroom wall as some sort of eulogy to everything awesome and beautiful in this world. Those owners are total dicks. Ugh.

1) Okay, so a lot of my friends might know this story already, but at the first Poodle Tricks party at Unit, I may or may not have sat down for a kip in one of the cubicles, only to wake what felt like minutes later, rejuvenated and amped to party, only to find no one on the dance floor, behind the bar or anywhere else for that matter. I also may or may not have stumbled my way through the fire escape to evade those really irritating alarms and the even more irritating questions ADT  might ask when they inevitably arrived – they’re not the most trusting bunch at 6am on a Sunday morning… but I would never do that obviously, so this is all completely rhetoric.