Top 10 of 2011: DJ Fuego Heat

DJ Fuego Heat has had a banger of a year. He’s played at Unit 11 at least 5 times, and even got paid once. This has lead to him getting a big head and providing us with his least favourite things of the year. Trademark DIY Cynicism. Here are the 10 things he enjoyed the least.

Photo: Gareth Bargate

10) 2010 Nostalgia

 

It happened. It was great. It’s over.

 

9) The Royal Wedding

 

 

The relevance of the royal family to the UK, let alone South Africa, escapes me. Regardless, people found the need to make a big fucking deal about it. At least she was wank bank worthy.

 

8) Poppers

 

Image Source: Guspresents.com

 

Year of the Rabbit? Fuck that. Despite being totally into poon, thanks to certain Unit 11 miscreants, this has been DJ Fuego Heat’s year of the poppers. Unfortunately, drooling at a table after a two hour poppers circle session has become my definition of a good time.

 

7) COP 17

 

Image Source: Zapiro.com

 

Just another excuse for delegates to cruise the planet partying it up. Unfortunately this year it’s South Africa’s turn to foot the bill.

 

6) House of Curries

 

Image Source: Joduca.blogspot.com

 

Nothing like a shit curry and a puke over the FNB wall.

 

5) DJ Fuego Heat

 

Photo: Matt Stroud

 

Musical integrity used to mean something to me. Now I find myself humming Madonna and George Michael songs and my vinyl collection is heavily weighted in the direction of cheese. At least the bitches love me.

 

4) Loopy

 

Photo: Erin Wulfsohn

 

Have you ever come home from an all night party and had to spoon with your house mate and his girlfriend because a big drunk lesbian managed to find her way into your bed? Moral of the story… pick your friends more carefully or don’t let them know where you live.

 

3) Occupy City Hall

 

Image source: OccupySA.org

 

Yes, Skullboy has already mentioned this but its epic fail is definitely worth a second  mention. Did anyone really think that a handful of middle class white kids picnicking outside city hall for a day or two would actually change anything?

 

2) Dubstep

 

Image source: KillHipsters.com

 

It was around before but this year that shit went crazy. Walking around Splashy Fen this year “bggggg-clunk-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa” could be heard from every second hatch back owned by some dude with a straight peak and hooded vest. Worst music trend ever.

 

1) Trademark DIY cynicism

 

 

Enough said.

 

Other noteworthy laments include: The Japan Earthquake, Dirk van Rensburg, The announcement of Unit 11’s closure, Russell Smith’s dress sense and Bob Perfect’s stand up comedy.

Comments
11 Responses to “Top 10 of 2011: DJ Fuego Heat”
  1. Tyron says:

    No Unit 11 = No hipster breeding. Other than that I’m in agreement on all of this.

  2. DJ Fuego Heat says:

    What? With no hipsters you’ll have to go back to hating jocks and that’s so 2003.

  3. Ryan says:

    I’m disappointed that Dirk didn’t place higher. However, having said that, maybe failing to make the list is an indication of the level of failure we’re dealing with..

  4. Matt S says:

    Wait, Loopy is a girl? Are you serious? I’m always like, “Hey whattup dude?”

  5. ill23 says:

    ///////////////// Would rather pick on hipsters ///////////////////////////

    Jocks fight back, but then again I like a good old fight.

    Personally prefer dubstep to hipster culture.

  6. xdoomx says:

    The LOOPY story is my favourite story of 2011. I wish for the time you recounted it to me to be retold again and again. Will never tire. What a crazy chick/dude..

  7. Roachy says:

    very funny!

  8. pissingblood says:

    *Russel Smith… Otherwise an awesome top 10. Or is it a bottom ten?

  9. Willy Ears says:

    Shinfo

  10. Matt_Theknight says:

    best article ever.

  11. ODB says:

    What about Kurt Peinke and his musical side projects? There’s the real shinfo.

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